RAIN. FOR SAV.

rAIN. FOR SAV.

I DONT SEE ANYTHING IN THE DECEMBER NIGHT.
I STARE OUT THE WINDOW. THE RAIN IS THROWN INTO MY FACE
AS IF IT'S SAYING:
SCREW YOU AND ALL THAT YOU ARE.
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE IN THIS WORLD.
EVERYONE LOOKS DOWN ON YOU.
I TURN AWAY FROM THE WATER FROM THE HEAVENS.
AND THINK ABOUT WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE UP THERE.
BUT IT'S ONLY A FANTASY.
I BELONG SOMEWHERE ELSE.
I WALK OUTSIDE, BAREFOOTED AND ONLY A SHIRT AND SKINNY JEANS.
I WALD DOWN THE STREET.
I LET MY UNGUARDED FEET STEP ON ROCKS, PEBBLES.
THE COLD FEELS GOOD ON MY SKIN;A NEVERENDING SHOWER.
IT SOAKS EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.
I LEAVE A TRAIL OF CRIMSON DOWN THE SIDEWALK.
I END UP AT THE PLAYGROUND.
SLIDES, PLAY STRUCTURES, MONKEY BARS.
AND THE SWINGS
I SIT IN ONE.
BUT THE RAIN. IT'S NOT JUST SPRINKLING.
IT'S POURING.
AS IF A DAM HAD SUDDENLY BROKE AND RELEASED ALL THE WATER IT COULD EVER HOLD.
I SIT IN THE SWING. I LOOK DOWN AT MY BLOODY FEET.
PEBBLES JUT OUT OF EVERY CORNER.
THE COLD RAIN FEELS GOOD ON MY OPEN WOUNDS;
WASHING THEM, CLEANSING THEM.
I START TO SHIVER. THE BLUE WORLD STARTS TO SWAY IN FRONT OF ME.
I AM SHORT OF BREATH.
A SMILE APPEARS ON MY FACE;
THE FIRST TIME IN 3 MONTHS.
NOT GRINNING AT THE RAIN,
NOT AT MY 20/140 VISION.
BUT THE FACT THAT NATURE WILL TAKE MY LIFE.
EVEN THOUGH I PLANNED TO THE SAME NIGHT.

RAIN. BEAUTIFUL. WET. A MURDERER.